Walls of resistance & other annoyances

the wall

I have successfully liberated my art!

Five small pieces of my art, each with their own little story, each with a part of me embedded, have been flung out into the world.

They disappeared, tucked safely inside their modestly decorated envelope, into a bright red Canada Post mailbox. They’re truly gone, left home forever, having their own little postcard adventures, flying off to places I will never see.

It’s a miracle that those postcards ever left home at all ….

02-16-17-cards-gone

Each step of their creation stirred up such a deep resistance and procrastination – what I thought would be an exciting, fun project, gradually became more and more difficult and less and less fun.

The strength of this resistance, like an internal brick wall, a thick heavy energy of ‘not wanting to do this’, surprised me. It wasn’t until I was finished that I realized there was something important I really needed to know.

I had always assumed that my choice to keep my art close and private, was simply a personal preference, a decision I could change at any time.

But now I know this is simply not true. This ‘preference’ has been a fear based choice – fear of criticism, fear of failure – the familiar and cleverly disguised voice of my Inner Critic, repeating the same old story of ‘Not Good Enough’. The same boring, painful story that’s been playing endlessly for my entire life.

By continuing with the project, pushing through the resistance and the pressures of that critical inner voice, I’ve realized that printing my art, hanging it, sharing it, gifting it – is not about waiting until I create something that is good enough, instead it is a necessary final step in the creative process.

It’s the completion of the creative urge that began with a feeling or an idea or just a vague thought. From a little bit of nothing, it becomes something solid and tangible, touchable and permanent. Manifested. Finished. Complete.

And here it is, held in my hands!

And there it goes…. out into the big wide world!

In this way, it totally bypasses the Inner Critic. It can be printed and shared without any judgement of it’s value or my skill, it can be printed and shared simply because it is complete.

All of the pictures on my 5 postcards are completed projects. In the end, it was easy and fun to release them.

Thank you, Kat ……… http://kateyestudio.com/

Your wonderful idea has liberated so much more than my art!

the wall

In the midst of this struggle to Liberate My Art, I made this little picture.

Painting is very new to me, I’m a photographer not an artist, but I’ve recently fallen in love with digital painting and this popped right out of my head (and my heart?) while I was thinking about how this process felt. I decided to be very brave and share it with you.

It’s my Wall of Resistance. Not as big and powerful as I thought it was after all…

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one with a big scary wall that’s separating them from the satisfaction of sharing their creations with others…. if you feel like sharing your story, I’d love to hear it in the comments below….

Thanks for dropping by and sharing a few minutes of your day, here in my world,
Janet

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Enjoying photography & blogging in my retirement.

10 thoughts on “Walls of resistance & other annoyances

  1. I saw your postcard of the toddler feeding the pigeons today on FaceBook today, and I love your painterly approach to photography so much. Your body of work is quite impressive. Whew! Living down here in metro Atlanta, your snowscapes made me frostbitten. 🙂

    1. Thank you SO much Teresa… so lovely to hear from you, all the way from Atlanta! Your kind & encouraging words have made my day and mean a lot to me… 🙂

  2. I’m sitting here with a smile on my face reading your post because last night I published my latest blog and I was so happy when I published, and people are responding, and now I’m wondering is it good enough? I’m wondering if that feeling of – am I good enough, ever goes away? your art is beautiful

    1. Thanks so much for sharing Masha, I know exactly what you mean… I’m beginning to think it’s one of those childhood scars that never really goes away. Perhaps we can learn to rephrase it somehow so that it doesn’t hurt so much or show up so often. That’s what I’m working towards & I’m sure you are too… 🙂

  3. You have so aptly described the way I’ve felt about many of my creative projects over the years. It is very difficult to put something you’ve created “out there” for others to critique.

    Your work is beautiful, though, Janet and you should be very proud of what you’ve accomplished!

    1. Thank you, Judy, you’ve always been so supportive & encouraging… I appreciate your words so very much. It’s nice to hear that you feel the same way and also have an emotional struggle with sharing the creative work that we pour so much of ourselves into. Perhaps it’s difficult for everyone…

  4. Beautiful post, thanks for sharing, dealing with my own wall of resistance and now feel inspired to just ‘press on regardless’. We can’t let our life be built on fear- would be such a tiny existence, wouldn’t it? Better to live large and accept a few falls here and there…

    1. Wise words and a wonderful reminder… we are not here to live in a safe & smothering cocoon, are we? We are here to live as large as we can, and I am so proud of you that you are feeling all of that and still ‘Pressing on Regardless’… xoxo

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